Before you start reading, please keep in mind that I am only recounting my experiences with Leo, my three-year-old son who happens to have special needs. These are things that are working for us while trying to potty train him. This doesn’t mean that it will work for everyone. EVERY kid is different and does things at their own pace. How boring would life be if all kids were the same?
Two weeks ago, we found ourselves stuck at home with a threenager who wasn’t potty trained yet. There would never be a better time to attempt to do this, but I still had my reserves. Honestly, if we weren’t quarantined, potty training wouldn’t have even crossed my mind. In the beginning days I can’t tell you how many times I went back and forth on whether we should quit or keep pushing forward. Before having Leo, I always heard that kids with Down Syndrome can do things that typical kids do, they just may take a little longer to get there. This has been completely true for us, which is why we held off for a bit. I think this is also the reason why, although I hate to admit it, I sometimes find myself setting the bar low for Leo. Some things have been a slow and, many times, frustrating process (ie. walking). However, there have definitely been instances when he goes above and beyond my expectations. I’ve been trying to find that balance between knowing the areas where I should expect more from him and push him a little harder versus the areas where he might need a little more time, and patience from us, to get there.
For Potty training, I knew he was showing signs that he was ready, like waking up in the morning and from his naps with a dry pamper, but I kept asking myself, “Will he grasp the concept?” Physically, the signs were all there, but I wasn’t sure if he was ready mentally. It didn’t help that paper towel is a hot commodity hard to come by nowadays (Tip: old towel rags come in handy for cleaning up messes). Well, two weeks into this potty-training business, and this kid has once again shown me that he is capable of much more than I think. Now, I wouldn’t say he is 100% potty-trained. We are missing that key part of getting him to say when he needs to use the bathroom, not just holding it in until we sit him on the toilet or ask him if he needs to go. However, we will get there. For now we are just celebrating this huge leap he has made.
Here are some tips that have worked for us. These are tips that I’ve accumulated from our past experience with Leo's older sister, from what others have suggested, and from trial and error with Leo.
Tip #1: Leo is what you call a stubborn potty trainer…I guess most parents would probably say their kids are. So, when we tried the first few days training him with some pull-ups, we noticed he would hold in his pee and poop until the moment we put that pamper back on. So, we tossed the idea of pull-ups, literally in the garbage, and went straight for ripping the band-aid. We bought him some toddler underwear with his favorite characters, Buzz and Woody. This seemed to work because it made him more aware that he was peeing and it made it easier for us to tell when he peed so we could immediately take him to the toilet and reinforce that the bathroom was where he had to go.
Tip #2: Bribe. No shame in this. We bought a couple of mini m&m’s (recommended by another mom) and would give him one or two after every time he would successfully go in the toilet. It took him about two days to finally figure out that this was his reward for going to the bathroom in the toilet, which helped a lot because who can resist some milk chocolate.
Tip #3: Set yourself timers in the beginning. We would set timers for in-between potty breaks and for during. For us, this was about 30 minutes between breaks and 5-10 minutes with him on the toilet, except when he hadn’t gone in about four hours and we knew it was coming, so we would just wait patiently with him, m&m bag in our hands ready to go.
Tip #4: This brings me to my last, and probably most important tip. Have patience! Leo has tested my patience on a whole new level. I’m a firm believer that if you ask God for patience, he doesn’t just magically give it to you, but provides you with opportunities to work on gaining patience. Definitely gives new meaning to the expression, “Be careful what you wish for.” Although it’s easier said than done, trying really hard to hold on to that patience while potty training pays off, at least that is how it’s been for us. It’s okay to get frustrated, Lord knows all parents do most days, but just remember that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel – even if it sometimes appears miles away.
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