How do you know if your child isn’t taking to something because they need a little more push or if it’s just that they aren’t ready?
Ever since Leo started his martial arts class, I found myself asking this question at the end of each session. Here’s what my thought is on this subject and my rule of thumb. For starters, if you’re having your child try something new, whether it be food, a new activity, a new schedule, or even potty training, make sure you’ve taken an EXTRA strong dose of patience. Mentally be ready. This doesn’t mean you’ll have it all together through the whole process. The patience will fade 100%, but if you’re mentally prepared, chances are you can recuperate some of it back. Once you have your patience, just dive right in with a positive mindset. Don’t expect failure but prepare for speed bumps and possible setbacks. Maybe talk to your child and get them ready. For me, when I started Leo off in his class, I explained to him a little about what was going to happen for those 30 minutes. I’ll be honest, I don’t know how much he understood, but I think some of it registered. Once you dive in, try not to get easily discouraged. When Leo’s first class started, he didn’t do anything the instructor was trying to get him to do. It was so bad that the teacher told us not to count this as one of the five classes we had paid for. Obviously, this was very discouraging to hear. Thankfully, he noticed I felt this way, and reminded me that Leo is young. He told me that from his past experiences, there will always be good classes, as well as bad ones.
With this in mind, we went to the next class. At this point, I wasn’t sure whether Leo was ready or if he just needed that extra push to get him back into a routine with some structure. Sometimes the line between these two things can get so blurry. This brings me to my next point. After one or two classes, start asking questions. What do I mean by this? If you find yourself skeptical, like I was, it helps to start asking the people who do this for a living. These teachers have the experience of working with many kids, all different learners. Ask them their opinion. Hopefully, the teacher is more concerned with your kid’s ability and potential versus just keeping them there because it’s another client who brings in money. In my case, I think these teachers really have their hearts in the right place, so I’ve already asked them a few times what they think Leo’s future should be in terms of continuing or not. They’ve probably already dubbed me as “that mom”, but their answers have seemed sincere. They reiterated that, at Leo’s age, there will always be good days and bad days. They stressed that he is exploring the world and it is important to let him do so, all while trying to tie in some martial arts moves. Four classes in and they still hadn’t given me a straightforward answer yet, but I think it’s because this is not really a straightforward situation.
Finally, lean on your support system. Once you’ve gotten your thoughts aligned and what the teachers have told you, lay it all on your partner or your support system. See what their take on it is. If possible, make them go to a class or have them talk to the teachers. Hopefully, at this point you already can tell if it would be better to keep at it or just wait until you see that your child is really ready and give it another go. Listen to your parent instincts, your support system, the teachers, and most importantly your child. I would show Leo his uniform and ask him if he was ready to go see his teacher, which Leo understood by the last two classes. So, when I asked him and he said, “No.” with a very serious face, that was my final cue. I can tell that he is interested in the class when we get there, but he is more interested in walking around and exploring the room… and this mom’s not ready to throw out more money for something he can do at home. So, for now, I’m going to wait a few more months and try again….or maybe I will just flip a coin and let it decide for me.