Quarantine & My Kid with Special Needs

While we are quarantined to flatten out the Covid curve, most parents are dealing with another type of curve: The learning curve for how to homeschool your kids.

The other day I saw a video made by Sesame Street. The video had Elmo’s dad, telling us parents, “You are doing an amazing job.” This couldn’t have come out at a better time, about five weeks into being quarantined with three kids, and trying to continue some sort of normalcy in their schooling and day-to-day routines. For my oldest daughter, this is pretty easy. Other than guiding her with her assignments and helping her out here and there, she’s caught on to a routine pretty quick and continues to learn what she would have learned at school, even though it is hard seeing her miss her friends. Leo, on the other hand, is a different story. Being a parent to my kid with special needs means his homeschooling needs are a bit different, even if he is just three years old.

After watching the video of Elmo’s dad, I realized that one of the things that has been feeding my anxiety slowly in the back of my mind (other than one of my loved ones getting sick) is Leo’s development. I’m anxious that we’re not doing enough for him at home and that he’s not developing as well as he was before this whole mess started. The amount of progress Leo had made since starting school in September was incredible. Being with other kids, having teachers who knew how to bring out the best in him, and getting two sessions of speech therapy each week helped him reach new heights in his development. Now, ever since quarantine, I have seen a bit of regression. This is partly because we have a new addition to the family, Leo’s younger brother, but mainly because his routine has been completely and suddenly upended. I worry that we won't be able to figure out a way to continue pushing him to do the best he can, making sure he doesn't fall too far behind from his typical peers when he starts school again. So now the challenge is coming up with some new routine that will help him continue to develop as best as he can, given the current circumstances.

Neither my husband or I are speech, physical, or occupational therapists. We are not teachers. Leo’s school is sending some helpful videos of his teachers doing familiar things they did during the school year. They are also sending projects for the letter of the week, but to be honest, I can tell he is lacking motivation from his peers. We tried involving his sister to see if he imitates her, but it hasn’t seemed to work. There are some days we just let him run around in our back patio or inside the house without any sort of attempt to do work with him because all he is interested in is making messes. Those are our lowest days that consist of him throwing everything he can get his hands on, some things even landing in the toilet. At the end of these days I find my anxiety has built up a bit more than usual, but I tell myself that tomorrow is a new day.

So, we will continue practicing skills his therapists had been working on with him, coming up with creative ways to keep him engaged (will blog about some of these later), but I can’t deny that his development in these areas will not be as great as they were before. We will continue working on his school projects with him and following the routine he was used to as much as we can, but I know it won’t replace the experience he had with his classmates and teachers. I can, however, say that there is something that has been growing at an incredible rate. His relationship with his sister has flourished like never before. They have this new bond that could only have been created by being stuck together 24/7, even if there are moments when they get on each others’ nerves. His understanding of what it means to be a big brother has also grown. In his own way he tries to help me with the baby, whether its passing me a pamper, even if it’s his own, or getting my attention to let me know that the baby is crying. So, although his therapy skills may fade a bit and he is missing interacting with kids his own age, there is no denying that there is a silver lining to this quarantine. When one door closes, a few windows usually open... Who knows, we may even be able to potty train him, a feat that can be as difficult as climbing Mount Everest. Just need to remember to do what Elmo’s dad said, “Hang in there and keep up the great work!”